Krishna's Mercy and My Wisdom Teeth

I had 3 of my wisdom teeth pulled out in the last week. Only one of my extractions was giving me problems. I had accidentally hit it with my toothbrush on the 2nd day after the extraction which caused bleeding to start again. Then later I noticed it wasn't healing well. There was a little hole there, or what would most likely be termed a "dry socket". It's a painful condition when the blood clot doesn't form and the jawbone as well as nerve endings air exposed to air and food and thus can get infected. By Krishna's mercy, I just happened to have a socket without no bone or nerve endings exposed and so, I had no severe pain at all. I called up my dentist and told him about the little hole and he suggested I take this medicine called Solcoseryl. I bought it and I used it. It's a paste to apply over the hole to protect it from bits of food and stuff. Then at night, when I was going to apply it again, I noticed it said that one of its contents was from calves' blood. I flipped out! How could I use this? Krishna loves cows! I cannot use their blood like this! I couldn't stand the fact that calves were probably harmed to make this medicine. While the medicine is really highly effective, I simply wasn't okay with using it. It didn't feel right, to me. Of course, everyone has their own opinion about this. Mine was: Nope, I don't want to use this. So I prayed hard. To Krishna, to Radha, to Chaitanya. I prayed saying please heal me so I won't have to use this medicine. It wasn't such a severe problem, but it was knowing that it was a potential problem was stressing me out. I woke up, still the same. Begging God to again, heal me. You heal everyone else. Why not me? I asked.

Later, I went to the dentist. At first he didn't think it was a dry socket, but we soon found out that it was. It was just a hole, with nothing inside. Just hollow. So he treated it. And he told me I was very lucky - normally patients complain of terrible pain when they suffer from this problem. I barely felt a thing. He also said he was impressed with my strict vegetarianism. That made me feel nice.

After I left, I was thinking about everything. I was thinking about why Krishna didn't heal me.

I didn't need to be healed.

Krishna hadn't put me in a problem to begin with. There was no bone exposed, no infection, nothing major. His grace had been with me all along, protecting me from any problems I might have. Hari Hari bol. I asked Krishna for a sign, as a confirmation about whether this is what the situation actually is. When I came home a few hours later, my devotee friend happened to tell me, "Krishna really loves you. There's a new batch system for the Hare Krishna Youth Classes now." I was thrilled! I've been dying to go but haven't been able to due to some issues. Hopefully now they will be resolved and I can spend some more time among devotees!

Oh Krishna, thank You, for every answered prayer, and for every "unanswered" one. Only You know what is best for me. So I am laying down my life at Your feet. Even if You decide to kick me away or trample on me, I will consider myself most fortunate. Just let me be of some service to You. Please just let me devote myself to You.