"All men are forced to act helplessly according to the impulses born of the modes of material nature; therefore no one can refrain from doing something, not even for a moment." - BG 3.5
As long as we are in this material body, we are going to suffer from physical ailments. We are driven by the impulses that are born from the modes of nature. OCD is not our fault. It is due to chemical imbalances in the brain, due to genes perhaps, due to reasons unknown to us. But it is born of material nature. It is not the nature of our soul. It is not who we are. Know and realize that it is not your fault.
The solution? Work for Vishnu:
"Work done as a sacrifice for Visnu has to be performed, otherwise work binds one to this material world. Therefore, O son of Kunti, perform your prescribed duties for His satisfaction, and in that way you will always remain unattached and free from bondage." BG 3.9
Work with a desire to please him and in this way be focused on him. Perhaps this will reduce the time I spend focusing on my OCD-thoughts?
"The working senses are superior to dull matter; mind is higher than the senses; intelligence is still higher than the mind; and he [the soul] is even higher than the intelligence." BG 3.42
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Dear Drainpiper,
ReplyDeleteI was hoping the OCD had gotten better..I guess not. But the way you choose to deal with it is truly inspiring..Your single minded trust in Krishna, how you continue to gather strength from His words.. Wow, dp, I am sure Krishna will not let you down !
Dp, reading your post has helped me clear up a LOT of things in my mind..it's like you chose these particular set of lines for me! Krishna spoke these words to Arjuna, in the middle of the battlefield, thousands of years ago. It is amazing how his words are so powerful and even more relevant now, in our time. Whenever I turn to the Gita, It's like your best friend is right there for you .. oh, the love in his words... (Ooh, am so jealous of Arjuna, btw ).. Drainpiper, whatever would we have done without Krishna's sweet promises!
But however much we yearn for him, he can never physically be with us , can he? Nope, and that's the reality of it. These beautiful lines from the Gopi Gita are so so true ..
" tava kathamrtam tapta-jivanam kavibhir iditam kalmasapaham
sravana-mangalam srimad atatam bhuvi grnanti ye bhuri–dajanah "
Krishna's nectarine words and his life are the greatest source of hope and joy to people suffering in this material world . Merely listening to them , from
the mouths of saints and poets, drives away all misery and brings prosperity to our lives..I really pray that your OCD gets better, drainpiper.. You know what they say..God gives his hardest battles to his toughest soldiers..:) Love and prayers..
Hari bol
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful blog:) I was just reading the above post and I felt 'here's someone who understands'
I'm not really sure if I'm suffering with OCD (I don't know much about it), but my mind definetly does not seem normal:(
I was introduced to KC a year ago, and the more I read SP books, the more the philosophy made sense to me. Like most people,in the past I assumed that material opulence, makes one happy.
Hearing about Krsna fitted in with my perception, that there is a higher purpose of us being here on this earth. It made me happy to know that there's something (in this case Someone) higher than material abundace. A higher goal. But that's when my mind totally turned against me:(
My mind is full of doubts, i think ill thoughts of Krsna-Radha (swearing/profanity, I sometimes blame God for the bad things going on in my life, I question His existence,
Insolence against the honor of the Lord, etc.) Just admiting that i think this way, even though it's totally unintentional, sickens me.
I avoid praying (although i chant) because serioulsy I just feel 'why would the Lord listen to me when i think so demonically?' :(
Do you have any idea how i can change this?
Do you think I even have a chance at reviving my relationship with the Supreme Lord?
ys
S.C
Hey! Thanks for your comment. It was really encouraging! Needed that :)
ReplyDeleteThe OCD has definitely gotten a LOT better! I am more functional now than I was 2 years ago, when it all began. It's slowly getting better day by day, with Krishna's mercy.
It's also funny that you would say these posts are helping you. I've often wondered whether these posts are benefitting anyone at all. Sometimes I think that I should just stop writing about OCD because maybe it isn't doing any good. Maybe Krishna is telling me through you to keep going?
Btw, WE WILL REALLY BE WITH HIM ONE DAYYYYYY!! We willlll!!!!! He has promised that we will go back to him! Just a matter of time! :D Can't wait!
Hare Krishna.
ReplyDeleteI sometimes think that I should stop writing about OCD because I doubt whether it helps anyone. But seeing your comment here just encourages me to keep going even though I might lose the will to.
I have experienced different types of OCD throughout my life. It only got severe a couple years ago, when I realized it was time to seek professional help. But I have experienced what you describe - ill thoughts.
Just to clarify, everyone has negative, intrusive thoughts from time to time. That is perfectly normal. However, it is a disorder when these thoughts and rituals disrupt your life, when they take up a LOT of your time daily, and when they cause strong feelings of panic and anxiety.
I have thoughts of people getting cancer or AIDS. Sometimes I have thoughts of people dying. I would then feel immense guilt, thinking that they would really get cancer/AIDS and die just because I had those thoughts. Like I was somehow responsible for it. It has NEVER happened. Sometimes I'd say bad things about God. Like it would just come out. I would never dream of saying such things. I don't even want to type it out. But the thoughts would just come. I would then pray and ask God to forgive me and then feel horrible about it all. And then some new thoughts come in.
I came up with some tricks though, to avoid these thoughts. These have worked and the ill thoughts have lessened considerably. Even if they occur to me, they don't affect me as much as they used to.
1. Say the negative. For example, instead of thinking, "He's going to get cancer," I would just say, "He's NOT going to get cancer." It takes a little practice but I can easily think the negative now without much effort.
2. Praying. Realizing that there is a supreme power who decides who lives and who dies made my life much easier. I'd just pray after the ill thought, asking God for forgiveness, and then telling myself that it's okay because God knows I would never really want this to happen to anyone and He knows I would never say such ill things.
3. Realize it's just OCD. Knowing that it wasn't me, and that it was OCD making me have these thoughts made me feel so much better. Initially I was wondering how did I become such a horrible person and I lived in fear, thinking bad things were going to happen just because I thought it. But knowing that it was OCD making me have these thoughts made it easier to deal with.
You should pray though, and ask Him for help. He knows you better than you know yourself so he knows what's going on with you.
“Even if one commits the most abominable action, if he is engaged in devotional service he is to be considered saintly because he is properly situated in his determination.” – Bhagavad Gita, 9.30
If you feel bad and like you have hurt him, sit with him and talk to him, as you would with a friend that you have hurt in some way. You would go and talk to that friend and explain yourself, and ask for help perhaps. So do the same with Krishna. He's a really good listener! Talk to him and tell him what's been going on with you, and apologize to him. Ask him to help you. Remember that he will never abandon you. You can always start rebuilding your relationship with him. He's right there! :)
Meanwhile, if you find that this is difficult to deal with on your own, I would urge you to seek professional help. It really changed my life.
Hi !
ReplyDelete// Maybe Krishna is telling me through you to keep going?// Oh yeah ! dp :) And a lot of times, it's the other way too! Keep going!!
// Btw, WE WILL REALLY BE WITH HIM ONE DAYYYYYY!! We willlll!!!!!//
I was all smiles as i read that! Ah, I am not the only 'crazy' one :)) Oh, and i have also been wondering about the other blog, 'All About Krishna'... I kind of miss reading about him, and his presence (uh..or absence) in the lives of his crazy lovers..Yes, i do know we all got our own lives, problems and priorities...Just that I was just feeling particularly alone in thinking of him..Like my thoughts and aims are rather different from the rest of the 21st century world's :( Sorry if i sounded a bit whiny and all that.
Hare Krishna :)
Haha, whiny? You're telling me! I whine about literally everything lol! So if you ever need to whine (not that I thought you were whiny in the first place) you can always get in touch! We can whine away together! :D
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about missing him. I don't really engage in so much devotional activity anymore. My perceptions about organized religion have changed over the past year, but funnily enough, my love for Krishna remains. I try to be close to him without all the religious rules and regulations now, and just going along as he guides me from within. But I do miss the closeness! Somehow, with work and with struggling to lead a normal life, I don't get so much time to spend with Krishna anymore. Must change that!
Happy to see your blog. I have ocd since 24 yrs and now my son of 23 yrs has got it. I am helpless cannot pray because of the constant bad thoughts image. Please advise. Thank you Devi
ReplyDeleteHello. I'm so sorry you and your son suffer from OCD. It's horrible. It seems like a very small issue but I know that it can completely disrupt your life. I would highly recommend going to a therapist. It helped me immensely. If you'd like to speak privately, you can email me at bloggingupthedrainpipe@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteThe root of ocd is unknown. Gayatri mantra chanting will be beneficial if one performs with faith regularly.
ReplyDeleteI will keep that in mind, thanks.
ReplyDelete