Like I said in earlier blog posts, I wanted to share some of the life lessons I've learned in the past year. One of the biggest lessons I learned was that everything is temporary. Nothing lasts forever. Some things may seem promising but we wrongly romanticise and idealise things, believing in our heads that things will always be the same. Whether it is love, friendship, a job, happiness, they are all fleeting in most cases. It's so rare to find loyalty right until your last breath.
"O son of Kuntî, the interaction between the senses and the sense-objects produce the sensations of cold, heat, pleasure and pain. These feelings are temporary, always appearing and then disappearing. Thus, O descendent of Bhårata, you must learn to tolerate them." - BG 2.14
The Gita, from the very beginning, talks about how this world is temporary, how everything in it is temporary, even our bodies, but our souls live forever.
What I learned from all of this is that in the material world, you need to be independent. You need to be enough for yourself. You never know when you're going to lose your job, or when your body might stop functioning, or when the friends/family you care about leave you or damage your trust in some way. You never know when these things might happen. Some of us are a bit too trusting of others and we end up getting mistreated in the end. Let it pass. It probably just ran its course and has now come to an end, so ride the wave. Over the past couple of months, I was abandoned by my supposed life partner, and then I was abandoned by a close friend who had promised to stick by me. It was then that I realised that loyalty in many cases does not last forever. These things come and go. But when you find someone who proves to you that they will be loyal and will stick by you no matter what, then do whatever you can to keep such a person in your life.
I guess out of this understanding of the temporary nature of things, there is one aspect of it that stands out to me:
There are two sides to everything and there will always be pain along with pleasure. If everything is temporary, then so is the sadness, which means that this too will pass.
I am of the opinion that one should never suppress their feelings. Feel whatever you want, be it jealousy, anger, hatred, or envy, but don't act on it. Suppressing feelings only leads to more pain, but be in control of your actions. Don't hurt someone because of your feelings. Over time, as you mature and learn to let things go, as you learn that you are above certain things, the intensity of such feelings will gradually diminish. I think it also makes life a little bit interesting to feel all these things. Of course, in excess it's really frustrating, but a little bit adds some variety to life.
Nothing is permanent, so don't put all your eggs in one basket. Don't trust someone so completely that you sacrifice yourself and your well-being for them. Don't trust people too soon, don't trust too easily. Learn to be enough for yourself. Put yourself first. Take care of your own needs and your own security before putting your life on the line for someone else. You know how when you're on a plane and they tell you that in case of emergency situations, put on your own mask first before helping the person beside you? The same applies. You can't help others if you don't look after yourself first. Nothing lasts forever so don't expect it to. Learn to let things go. And remember: this will pass. Whatever you're going through in life right now, it will pass and it will get better. If everything is temporary, then that means so is this sadness. Ride the wave.
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