The OCD came back. Note that I have not been diagnosed by a doctor as yet but I'm pretty sure I'm behaving in a way that's not normal. So whether it's really OCD or not, this urge to keep cleaning is causing me terrible distress and anxiety. I can't do normal things anymore. It feels like I've forgotten how to do simple things like wash my hands. I have to wash my hands at least 7-8 times in the same session till I feel clean or till it's done perfectly. Although washing 7-8 times is not the minimum. Washing up in the morning takes about 30-45 minutes. Sometimes it takes an hour. Showering takes an hour and a half. I avoid going out as much as I can. I'm not afraid of getting sick. I'm afraid of getting dirty and of germs. I also use a lot of hand sanitizer and sanitizing wipes. It's so tiring and stressful.
I humbly request readers to pray for me to get better and to be able to handle this. I'm tired of the anxiety that comes from this and how much it makes me panic. I'm tired of being ashamed, and of how people look at me like I'm weird. I really just want to feel normal again and be able to do normal things. I am currently reading some self-help books but more than all of that, I need the mercy of all of you devotees who are so dear to Krishna. I need Krishna to give me strength to face this head on and to deal with it. Krishna has the power to heal me. I am humbly asking for mercy and prayer from you.
Thanks a lot.
hi...
ReplyDeletei dont know what that means... but whatever it is i'll ask the lord to help you!!! i dont know actual words to post in this blog!! but i promise that i'll pray for you and lord krishna will definitly cure you from watever it is you are suffering from!!
jai sree krishna!!
Hare Krishna Meghana. Thank you so much. I really appreciate your concern - it means a lot to me!
ReplyDeleteIt's basically this problem where I just get hung up on cleaning. I have become overly concerned with keeping things clean and the problem is I keep cleaning again and again. Once just isn't enough! I used to just wash my hands once before. Now I have to wash about 7-8 times one after the other until it's done perfectly, or until I feel clean enough. It's kind of become like a habit now and if I don't clean, I just kind of go crazy and start feeling really stressed and anxious. It's really very depressing, so I appreciate you praying for me. I really really do. Prayer is the best medicine, so thank you so much for praying for me. I am at the mercy of devotees like you. May Krishna continue to bless you always!
sure dear i will pray for u . i want to say one thing..u are devotee of Krishna, so u why worried about what people think about u ! today i m surprised that i m saying this thing to u, dear i had read about this problem, it makes makes makes mind restless, dont care for the people. as a krishna devotee we does not effect by the earthy persons, what ever they say or look us..just make ur good relation with god, that it. god will sure help u. if u think that people look u as u r wired the, i tell u abt my self, i bald, i keep beard like raghu ram(MTV Roadies judge) , without mustache, people look me as i m looking ugly, and they think i m muslim. i dont care about what they say or look at me, i just care about god , and lord krishna(my gf), and walking on their path thats it. even i dont care about my career, its secondary to me. so dear u r strong person, just have patience, u come out of this state with more strong faith. , sit and meditate.DO Vippassana meditation . sit in silent room, sit in comfortable position, close ur eyes and concentrate on ur breath , see the movement of breath, make ur breath slow as much u can. do this 10-15 min. ur mind become peaceful. it help u in OCD. i will mail u meditation in detail, u can do before japa. i have joined " iskon desire tree "
ReplyDeletedont worry
hare krishna
Hare Krishna.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your advice. I appreciate your understanding of this condition. You are right - it makes the mind very restless. I am more concerned with the stress of dealing with this rather than about what people think. The main thing I want is to get better and to live normally, like I used to, without being burdened by this stress. Thank you very much for your advice. I have also been thinking of trying some yoga to help me. So let's see how that works out.
Do remember me in your prayers. Thanks. Hare Krishna
hare Krishna
ReplyDeleteyeah sure dear, i will..hold Krishna's hand, Krishna help u to pass through this problem..
hare Krishna
Hey!
ReplyDeletemy xams r going on, do pray 4 me! :))
i have an idea.
i dont really get your problem, but Krishna does!
So, let us ask Him to sort it out.
Normally, what i would do is promise some 11 pradarshans (rounds) of the temple for a set period of days.
And, entrust Him with the job of taking care.
And, He does take care.
So, do try it, DP!
Heyy! Yea I figured your exams were going on. All the best for them! :)
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your suggestion. Thanks a lot! I don't really get to go to the temple a lot but I'm gonna try doing it in my mind (manasa seva). It might sound funny lol but I have read that devotional service even when done in the mind is just as good! I have also started going to a counsellor now for this and she's helping me through it. Please keep me in your prayers :)
Thanks again!
Thanks for the encouragement! :)
ReplyDeleteOCD affects at random, regardless of age, sex,race,religion etc. I have a close relative who suffers from ocd, for whom, we are consulting and getting good trained psychiatrist. Even after appearing to have been fully cured, it relapses. Any serotinin, SSRI you are prescribed, must be taken for life time. Do not discontinue without consulting a doctor. Please seek suitable advices from a qualified psychiatrist. There are specialists in this field. Actually, this condition (do not call this an ailment or disease) is caused by a deficiency in the secretion of a brain chemical known as serotinin. Over the last few decades, around five to six drugs have been found to either fully cure or control the progress of this condition.
ReplyDeleteDo not lose heart. CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy ) combined with medication monitored by qualified psychiatrists surely helps.
If u have your email id, please give me. I shall talk to you and direct you to some advisors, (of course, in case you already know none)
subbu rathinam.
Hi Subbu,
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment and for the helpful advice. I am already seeing a trained counsellor once a week who is helping me out with this. I am aware of the serotonin deficiency and as a result, I have been trying to naturally increase my serotonin levels through exercise, meditation, etc.
Again, thank you so much for your comment! :) I wish your family, especially your relative, all the very best!
@In Love With Krishna all the best for your exams , i do pray for u
ReplyDeletehare Krishna
@DrainPiper dear how are you now ?
ReplyDeleteHare Krishna. I'm making progress little by little, by the mercy of Krishna and of devotees like you. Thank you so much for your prayers. I am going to a counsellor once a week, and it is helping me. Prayer helps me a lot too. My counsellor, like you, also suggested I do some meditation and deep breathing. So I'm trying to incorporate that into my daily routines. It is very very useful! We found out that stress is a contributing factor so we're working on bringing down my stress levels.
ReplyDeleteAgain, thank you so much for your prayers and concern :)
hare krishna
ReplyDeleteohh dont say that we are all part of krishna..so we have to live keeping hand in hand..if someone falls, we can lift other....so take proper rest...soon u will be gud..belated happy holi..sorry i m on trip to dehradun, rishikesh, temple over there and faith home
hare krishna
"we are all part of krishna..so we have to live keeping hand in hand..if someone falls, we can lift other"
ReplyDeleteYes, exactly! I wish more people realized what you said! Life would be so much more peaceful then :)
Thank you so much for your support. I really appreciate it. And I hope you enjoy your trip! You are blessed to be able to visit these holy places. I think you had a strong desire to visit them, and therefore, Krishna is fulfilling your desires! Enjoy your trip :)
Hare Krishna!