Lost Gopi said:
Drainpiper , i feel like crying. Okay, i am. Right now, i am so upset about something at work. It hurts when people turn out to be so different from who I thought they were.. And being misunderstood makes me feel like.. :( These few months thats all I have been - Misunderstood - I am actually amazed at how everything I do or say seems to go horribly wrong somehow. And people do these seemingly harmless things that lands me in the most awkward situations. I am shocked at the double standards of people at work, the backstabbing ...and people acting like so immature..and yet I am the one left feeling dumb. I know its like that at most places. But when it completely ruins my chances at some good thing that had a possibility of happening ..I am so deflated..and sad.
While I sit there feeling dazed and amazed I feel like suchh a naive little girl !! I come across as such no doubt . Ugh! And I hate that feeling!
The one main thing that Krishna says in the Gita , about doing your best and not desiring the results..Wow thats hard! Not material things, but I still find it hard to accept that when it comes to people ! I wish Krishna was real , like really here real :( and would just be my friend for once. I havent felt close to Krishna in ages. I wish people like him existed now . I can never be annoyed at him..or blame him . I believe that what we get depends on our past karma and on our reactions to life . I kind of wish I was different so that at least the second part would make me feel worthwile and happy about myself.
Thanks for listening and can you please pray to Krishna to just tell me what I want and who I am,coz I freaking dont know! I am SO thankful for everything he has blessed me with in this life..so many things that I take for granted..but I would love some clarity right now. I am going to have such fun crying myself to sleep tonight!! Yay!
I know EXACTLY how you feel! It's crazy - you think the workplace is going to be so much better because people will be more responsible and more mature but it isn't! In fact, it's worse than high school! The backstabbing, cheating, trampling on people because they're hungry for more power... It just never ends! I went through so much shock when I graduated and started working. The real world is just so cold and so different from what I expected. So far, it has been a huge disappointment. Like you, I used to come home crying everyday after work. I wouldn't have time to take my lunch breaks or even bathroom breaks! The corporate world is just cruel and it's all about money. There is no value for ethics or social responsibility whatsoever! There are verses in the Gita which say that a learned person is not disturbed by either happiness or distress, that a learned person looks at everyone with an equal eye. I think you know these things already, and I think you also know that these things are quite hard to do, especially when the heart or mind is troubled. But nevertheless, we must keep trying. If it helps, try to think of it as Krishna wanting you to be there and working for him. You are not working for your boss - you are working for Krishna. This used to help me get through my bad days.
I'm so sorry that you're going through all of this. I really hope and pray that Krishna gives you the strength to face this and to overcome it. I pray for his guidance in your life. I hope that Krishna helps you to remember that you are there to perform your duties and those who try to sabotage you shall never prosper, for you are on Krishna's side. Dear Krishna, please give your devotee clarity and help her to rise up above these trials. Please change and make her work environment better so that she can fulfil her duties to the best of her ability. Most of all, please stay close to her and be with her always, giving her your guidance and offering her your loving friendship, as only you can.
If you want to talk a little more, feel free to send me an email. Hope things get better for you!
Although I am much younger than you both (DP and Lost Gopi) and therefore don't work, I've felt the same. And just recently I was.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I have misunderstood and betrayed people I knew all my life. Family (not my actual one, but u know.. like cousins, uncles, etc.) on my Dad's side (not including my dad) - they have "stolen" enough money to buy a house plus accessories from us. Then friends - one by one - they left me - because they were jealous of my grades. I was like... what? At first I cried, but then slowly, things just got worse. You know how you get classified in certain ways by certain people who don't actually know me? I am one of them. Every time they need help, they forget this classification, but every other moment it's back to normal. With the exception of a few, of course. But I help them, as well as turning a deaf ear to them. Just recently, I learned about Krishna. And although my family sometimes says that I shouldn't become a vegetarian, etc. (they have stopped almost completely) - I became a devotee of Krishna. I fought a lot for this.
This was really hard, but I got over it really soon. Here's how:
I have learned that people are really good at some things. And one of these things is being selfish. And greedy. And what you said about the others being immature and leaving you to feel awkward - that is but a characteristic of a devotee! Whenever I had a hard time, I considered it as Krishna testing me, or doing something to bring me closer to him. I look at the world and instead forgive them due to being ignorant. This is but a stage that we were once in. Sometimes Krishna makes things hard so you seek his help and feel the difference. As DP said, doing things for Krishna will help. This is what Krishna wants, after all. And isn't it the hard times that make the easy ones better? Isn't it the wrong things that make the right ones righter? So, Lost Gopi, please continue doing the right thing. I feel that Krishna wants you to be closer to him again. Every time I have a problem, I seek Krishna's help before anyone else's. And it just feels good.
Like you, I can never blame Krishna. I sometimes want to feel angry with him and fight with him (because I love the feeling when we resolve the fight) but I just can't! I start smiling in the middle, or thinking of what Radha would have done when Krishna did such. I also wish Krishna was physically present before me, so I could feel actually close to him. Although Krishna and his pictures are the same, sometimes I wish I was rather talking to Krishna than a piece of paper :)
Because I want to feel close to him. I know you and DP do too. I guess many want this. I hope one day we all get this. For now, we have to resort to whatever we have.
Dear Krishna, please give your dear devotee strength to overcome this hard time she is facing. Please provide the clarification she seeks. And please bless her always and make her closer and closer to you. You have always provided for us all, and we thank you for that. And yet we need more. Please, Krishna, a very kind devotee out there seeks your refuge. Please bestow this upon her. Thank you.
You know, no prayer goes unheard. Krishna hears every single prayer that each soul utters. And he decides based on that. Whatever he decides, know that it is for your benefit. And, just like good times, bad times are temporary. Everything in this world is temporary. So know that, sooner or later, these harsh times will be over soon. I pray to Krishna to give you the strength you need to overcome this. All the best!
Oh, you know above, the first sentence: You know, I have misunderstood and betrayed people I knew all my life.
ReplyDeleteIt's supposed to be "I have misunderstood and been betrayed by people I knew all my life." I did not betray. I just accidentally wrote that. Sorry!!
Thank you so much for the prayers, Dp and Srimati Radharani !
ReplyDeleteI read this long back , but was caught up with a lot of things..Lately, ive been trying to get more in tune with the ( for lack of a better word) 'real world' and being the person I wanted to be and all that ;P . And I have kind of drifted away from Krishna, and having him in my thoughts most of the time..I guess I need to find that balance :)
Anyways, I believe everything happens for a reason, right? Or at least thats what Id like to think . In my case, it has helped me to grow a lot as a person..which is a great thing :)
Cheers !!
And How are you Drain piper?? Its been a while !!
Eeeeeps, so sorry for the late reply! I haven't logged on in ages!
DeleteGosh, I feel like you're reading my mind. Lately I've been struggling to find that balance as well. The past year or so was spent trying to find myself and get in touch with who I really am. Definitely need to find that balance again and reconnect with my spiritual side as well!
It's crazy how the universe works sometimes. Lately everything in my life has been falling apart but somehow, it has also been coming together at the same time. And like you said, it brings along a lot of personal growth which is great! Just wish it was easier though lol.
Hope things are well! :) Keep me posted! xx